Oh Hell to the Naw...

Now A & E is one of my favorite networks (THE FIRST 48 Baby),
but are they really serious???

Steven Seagal's movies have grossed more than $2 billion worldwide. He is an expert martial artist with a 7th-degree black belt in Aikido, but Steven Seagal isn't just an action hero in the movies. For almost 20 years, Seagal has been working as a fully commissioned deputy with the Jefferson Parish Sheriff's Office in Louisiana. In addition to going out on patrol, Seagal is an expert marksman who has worked with their SWAT team and has instructed Jefferson Parish officers in firearms and hand-to-hand combat. Steven Seagal Lawman will allow fans to ride shotgun with Seagal as he and his hand-selected elite team of deputies respond to crimes in progress. Then, when Seagal goes off duty, the cameras will continue following him as he pursues his many ventures, including musical performances (oh really now) and philanthropic efforts in Jefferson Parish and New Orleans.

This is according to the A&E website... http://www.aetv.com/steven-seagal-lawman/

I'm sorry, I find this hilarious cause I have seen some of Steven Seagal's recent movies and it looks like the have to edit his walking scene cause he's gonna pass out much less the fight scenes....I bet he has a personal food assistant who stands on the sidelines ready to shovel pudding into his mouth as soon as they yet cut...

Steven Seagal's Mountain Dew Commercial...

He better pray for this luck out in the streets if the Lou...

Steven Seagal Parody on Mad TV...Crouching Cops, Hidden Badges...

I can see him now crouching behind the a cop car with a hoagie.

and this mug has an energy drink...

Before Dinner Snack...

OK, so it's after 4 pm and I've been running all day and
haven't put anything is in body except a bottle of water...

Sooooo, I slapped that PESTO on top of a corn tortilla
with some sharp cheese and VOILA...
Pesto Pizza, quick and tasty!

I'm telling ya, make some for you and yours!

Creativity At it's Best...

I know they say necessity is the mother of invention, well evidently invention's father is the recession...



I peep this dude out at the Labor Day Parade this year.

I really hope they weren't used.


Who the hell would actually eat these dogs.


Hey, as long as the car still runs, I ain't even mad.



Hey, at least they wash.



I can't...is that cement???


I have to admit I thought about doing myself when the brackets
on my fridge door broke but I used gorilla glue and the original pieces.




Is that Will Ferrel?


Really, there wasn't a oven rack they could use?


Thank you to the Cable Diva who sent me this...'Preciate it!

Late Night Snack...

So I'm up late, as I often am, and I wanted a snack, but not anything too crazy. I'm not a sweets girl but my friend said the word Oreo and that sent my stomach into a tail spin...

I was tempted to skip across the street and get a bag of cookies.

Having a store this close can really get you in trouble...

But alas, I remembered that I made pesto the other day, so semi healthy I shall be!

I toasted some wheat bread and topped it with my pesto,
mozzarella cheese on one piece and sharp cheddar
on the other and toasted it until it was nice and crispy.

Let me start by saying traditional pesto is made with basil and toasted pine nuts. I have made it with those ingredients in the past but decided to try something different this go round.

For the PESTO you will need:

• 2 cups fresh Italian flat leaf parsley
• 2 cups fresh basil
• 1/4 cup almonds
• 1/4 cup shelled pistachios
• 1-1/2 cups olive oil
• 1 cup fresh Parmesan cheese
• 5-8 garlic cloves (TIP: Smaller garlic cloves pack more flavor.)
• 1 cup sun dried tomatoes in oil
• salt and pepper to taste
• A food processor or a very good blender
  

SUN DRIED TOMATO SIDEBAR:

The sun dried tomatoes are optional, but I love them and feel it gives the pesto a bit of tangy flavor against the garlic. Because I am sick of paying those high a$$ prices for tomatoes and oil in a damn jar, I decided I'd do my own. A good health food store that sells dried fruits and veggies by the pound should carry sun dried tomatoes. They are dirt cheap this way... I just chopped them up and put them in a jar with some olive oil, bay leaves (slightly crumbled), fresh parsley and some salt and pepper and put them on my window sill so the sun could do it's thang. I throw them on top of my salads and toast with cream cheese sometimes...Tre tasty!!!

OK, on to the Pesto itself...

Throw all your dry and semi dry ingredients into the food processor (or blender); the almonds, pistachios, garlic, and your sun dried tomatoes (No need to drain them, you can even use that olive oil if you'd like. The more flavor the better I say). Process those for about 30 seconds.

I didn't do it this way because i broke my fool size food processor,
so I just stuffed everybody in there together.

Then add your basil and parsley leaves and continue to process until semi smooth. If possible while the food processor is still running pour all but about 1-2 table spoons of the olive oil in slowly. Then add your Parmesan cheese and processor for another minute. That's it...easy right?

It's harder to get the ingredients that it is to make the stuff and it keeps well in the fridge for weeks and is great on an array of things. Just pout that last little bit of olive oil on top and place in the fridge.

I coated some stuffed chicken breasts with it when I made it with parsley and walnuts last time.

Recipe coming soon...

Nighty Night...

Shrimp & Crab Burgers...

Today it was rainy in Brooklyn and I guess it put me in a cooking mood.

I decided to make

Shrimp & Crab Burgers (w/ Wasabi Mayo, Zucchini with Sage & Butter and Corn.

Let's start with the burgers. For those you will need.

15-20 medium size shrimp, peeled, deveined, and cut into small pieces
1 - 6 oz. can of Crab Meat or Fresh Crab Meat - drained of all juices
Old Bay Seasoning to taste
Salt & Pepper
2-3 table spoons of salted butter
3 eggs
2-3 cups of bread crumbs
1/2 cup flour
1/2 large Onion- chopped
3 scallions- chopped
3 cloves of garlic- chopped
1 stalk of celery- chopped
1/2 green pepper- chopped
1/2 yellow pepper- chopped
1/2 jalapeno pepper- chopped
lettuce and tomato

Melt a tablespoon of butter into a skillet. Add veggies and and season with salt, pepper and cayenne pepper. Sauteed for about 6-10 minutes until onions are almost translucent. Once cooked put into a large bowl.

In the same skillet, add 1/2 tablespoon of butter, your cut and lightly seasoned (w/ salt & pepper) shrimp and 1/2 tablespoon of Old Bay seasoning (more to taste). Cook until on a medium heat for roughly 10 minutes until pink but do not over cook.

Once fully cooked, pop them on over into the bowl with the veggies.

Now I thought I had bread crumbs but didn't when I peeked in my cabinet. I did realize that I had hot dog buns from a BBQ though; so I toasted those and cut them into small pieces and crumbled them up with my hands. Of course you can use store bought bread crumbs but be sure to adjust the salt you add because they can be salty.

Add all but about 1/2 a cup of your bread crumbs to the bowl and leave the rest aside for when you are making the burgers themselves. Those you may want to zap in the food processor.


Then, add your drained and flaked crab into the bowl with the veggies and shrimp. Fresh is always better but more expensive...it's a damn recession so I used the canned OK...I know...very unlike me. Shut Up! Lil Richard style...

OK, now beat 2 of your eggs but don't add them until you have tasted your shrimp and crab burger mixture...don't need salmonella now do we people? Once you've got it to your liking, add your eggs and fully mix everything together. You can put that in the fridge to set for a little while before you form you patties if you have time.



I was only only making one for myself so I just popped the first one into the freezer while I made my others to freeze or refrigerate for the rest of the week.


I covered them with that Glad Press'n Seal, which I must say is nice product but you have to use a lot for it to work and it ain't cheap.


If you want to make these for a much later a later date, you can mix everything but the eggs and then refrigerate or freeze the shrimp, crab and veggie mix until you want to make then and then form the burgers once you have added the freshly beaten eggs.

I mixed my bread crumbs with a little bit of flour to be sure they held together. Take your formed patties and either place them into the flour and breadcrumb mixture (flipping them of course) or dust them with them while the patties are in your hands. Don't be afraid if they are falling apart a little, just dust them in your hands and set aside. If they are really falling apart you may need to add more egg.

Place the patties into a hot skillet with butter and cook on eat side for around 4-7 minutes depending on thickness.

I had my burgers on a toasted English Muffin and because I'm a sauce and spice freak I decided to make some Wasabi Mayo since I had bottle someone bought me ages ago.

For that I mixed, 1 tablespoon of Wasabi Powder, 3 tablespoons of Miracle Whip and, a tablespoon of Pickapeppa Sauce...thanks Kia...

Now onto the zucchini. Super easy.

6- 7 sage leaves
1 zucchini
1 teaspoon of lemon zest
1 table spoon of butter
salt and pepper to taste


Sage is a nice flavor but it is not necessary or can be substituted for thyme or rosemary. I only used it because while hacking down the jungle that was the my side yard, I found a thriving sage plant.

Sage is a very porous plant so I soaked it in water with a touch of salt for a few minutes and then rinsed each leaf under a running faucet to be sure it was completely clean of grit. Clean it like it's little collard greens...

Once clean, lay the sage leaves on top of each other and slice....


Zest your lemon

Put the sage and lemon zest in skillet with a teaspoon of olive oil and allow to saute on a low flame.

Clean and slice a whole zucchini and place into skillet with sage a olive oil, in one layer if possible.

Cut up the butter into small pieces and place on top of zucchini and cook for about 3-5 minutes depending on thickness on a high heat and then flip and cook for another 5 - 10 minutes.

Now the corn is straight forward. Boil corn in salted water with some milk depending on how many ears of corn you are boiling..,

Voila...Dinner is Served!

.....Dag that went fast...

Why Do They Sell This Crap?

So a few months back I went to visit a friend in the hospital in DC.

(She's doing great now, in case you were wondering. Hey Geisha Girl!)

Anyway, I was wandering around the hospital in search of an ATM machine and I came across a line of vending machines.


This being one of them!


How the hell could a hospital sell this B.S.? A Philly Cheese Steak and a Wings? And that thing on the sesame bun isn't even a burger, it's a Fish & Cheese sandwich...WTF??? Really!!!

I actually looked through all the machines to see what semi healthy snacks they had and all I could fine was salted peanuts...not a Granola Bars in site...

And don't even get me started on the food they serve in these hospitals.
That alone tells me the medical field DOES NOT have any true concern for our health.

A different friend of mine was in the hospital last week (she's preggers but doing great...Hey Soy Joy & Mr. Cheeks). When I got there she was eating her 'dinner'. It consisted of, a veggie burger on a white bread bun, white rice and broccoli so over cooked it looked more like a green lumpy oatmeal.



Now don't get it twisted, I only consider myself to be a semi health nut but I do know 'the whiter the bread the sooner your dead' and I know these hospitals know that nutrition is just as, if not more important that these medications they are pumping into us at an alarming rate.

I watched Bill Maher the other night and he had Elliot Spitzer on as a guest and he said he was on the board for a hospital and when he came in they told him there was a 98% occupancy rate, and his response was 'that's horrible, what do we do?" and there response was "that's great". These hospitals, drug companies, and many food companies are making millions making and keeping us sick.

An one thing I can't seem to get out of my mind is that my friend that is pregnant is a vegetarian. She wasn't always...I think she crossed over a little more than a year ago.

While visiting with her she told me that many years ago a doctor told her she would likely never have children. Her husband and her have been together for about 8 years, no pregnancy. She's goes vegetarian and BAM she's preggers...coincidence...I think NOT.

People, we have to take our health into our own hands. There is just too much money to be made insuring that we are dependent on their drugs to think that we can put our health into anyone else's hands blindly.

Remember the origin of the word disease...it is a DIS-EASE of the system.
The idea is to correct it, not medicate it so you don't feel the effects.

Well Looky Here, Looky Here...

The Salsitas!!!

Aih Aih Aih Aih !

Sorry I Offended myself with that one...Oops!

I was just strolling alongLA LA LA...On my way to drop a few things at the tailor and decided to stroll into a (not so far) Pioneer Grocery Store, just to see what their store was like. It smelled horribly I opted to turn around and leave. BAM! There they were...My personal Chip Dream come true. Haven't cracked them yet, so I'm not sure if they're FRESH but I can't wait...

What are the chances of that...Guess if you put it out in the universe and truly want it it will come to you...even if it's only a chip...The Secret is REAL!