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Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Y'all Gonna Make Me Lose My Mind...

The warm weather is just starting to arrive in NY and insanity has officially started...

Somebody needed to throw a net over this heifer and drag her back to her house.

What's that, 3 - 4 inches of ass crack? She ain't got a friend in a world!

Why all the tags sticking all out...You don't have scissors in your house?

And this BS...I can't even believe this needs to be stated, but can your shoes PLEASE fit your feet?

If your toes touch concrete they need to be given away!

Here are a few summer tips for the ladies out there.

1. Please cut the tags out of anything, sheer, backless and just about anything where the tags may pop out from time to time. This includes your undies.

2. Moisturize your feet before going to bed. It will give the product more time to absorb into your skin and prevent cracked heels and over greasing in the morning so you wont slip and slide in your shoes in the am. Mixing a good foot cream with Vaseline at night is my trick...been supple all winter.

3. Please buy shoes that are your ACTUAL SIZE. It prevents corns and bunions and just makes plain sense. You don't want get to this point, do you?

4. Invest in a pair of Gel Toe Separators and wear them for about 30 minutes a day. They will spread your toes out after being crammed into pointy or just not so comfy shoes all day.
I love mine. They can be found in any decent drug or beauty supply store and run for less than $10 bucks. They are made by the same people as the Ped Egg, which you might as well pick up while you're in there. Just don't scrub too hard with it or could do some damage.

5. On what planet is muffin top sexy? If you have to continuously tug on your shirt or pull your jeans up, just wear a belt and and buy a bigger shirt. Or dare I say it, stay the f**k outta Mickey D's...

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